What next?

So what should I comment on next?

If you read this, leave me a comment. What would you like me to comment on?

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Friend? Or after my money?

I was recently issued a challenged that I have decided to take on. See how many online friends like me for me and how many like me for my money.

Those that know me know I spend a lot of time and, unfortunately, money on the popular webcam site, MyFreeCams.

The challenge is to first create a new premium account with 20 reward points and 0 tokens. Second, see how many of the models at the Romanian studio I frequent can I get to be my friend, without getting any more tokens. I have a number of good friends on the site. How many of those are real friends and how many like me for my money?

This challenge was issued by someone who says the only reason I have so many friends is that I’m considered a big spender and everyone wants me to spend money on them. I’m sure that plays a role with some of the girls at the studio, but I’m also sure some will still treat me as a friend without the use of any tokens. I refuse to believe that all the models are only after money. I’m positive some are also interested in making friends. It’s true that these models would not be there if they weren’t making any money, but I believe that a good number of them are ready to accept non-paying friends as long as the make money from other visitors.

If you’re one of my model friends, I hope you won’t feel like I tried to deceive you and I hope you know that this is not a test of our existing friendship. I hope I will not lose any friends with this challenge. If I do, maybe that means they were not friends.

I will try to provide at least weekly updates to this challenge so come back often and see how the challenge is going. I will not be naming any models until the challenge is over.

Please leave a comment if you like what you see so I will know if it’s worth writing about this.

Wish me luck!

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Just one wish

If I said I could grant you one wish, any wish you want, except for more wishes, what would you wish for? Would you wish for fame, money, world peace, a new camera, an end to world hunger?  Would you wish for something for yourself, for a loved one, or for the rest of the world?

What would I wish for?  Leave me a comment with what you would wish for. I’ll tell you what I would wish for after a few people have told me their wish. I think the perfect wish is a simple one. Let’s see if anybody else feels the same way.

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Do it now!

Today wasn’t my best day emotionally. While driving to work this morning, I started thinking about new friends that I made recently as well as some old friends that I haven’t seen for a while. Two special friends in particular, from my high school days, brought back memories that were not what I needed for a productive day at work.

One these friends caused me some pain when she told me that she thought her boyfriend was going to pop the question real soon. I was living away from our home town at the time and didn’t know she was dating him. I still had romantic interests in her, but never said anything about it to her. I kept hoping that someday everything would just fall into place and …. oh well, you know what I mean. I walked away, broken hearted and had no interest in her anymore. It wasn’t easy because there had been a special bond between us, the kind of bond you find in friends that will always be there for you.

Many years went by before I saw her again. We met a few times for coffee, or for a few drinks, and talked about what we had both gone through. Then I moved away again and years went by without talking again. I did see her again last year at Xmas. I finally told her how sorry I was for not staying in touch with her. I told her it was stupid of me to have felt hurt the way I did. I wasn’t prepared for the pain that hit me when she told me that what had hurt her the most was that I wasn’t there for her when she lost her husband and twin 2 year old daughters in a house fire. All I could say was: “I’m sorry”.

The second friend is one that I had a really big crush on in high school. We were good friends in school, but never got together outside of school. I thought about asking her out but didn’t, partly because I didn’t think she’d be interested and partly because I was shy. We spent many hours together in school; many of those with me tutoring her with Math and Science. I think I saw her just once or twice the year after we graduated. I didn’t think she considered our friendship to be much more than classmates so I did not try to contact her. Thanks to Facebook, I finally got back in touch with her last year, 28 years after our last contact. We had a few long chats where I found out that not only did our friendship mean a lot to her, I was probably the best friend she had in high school. I also found out that she had considered getting romantically involved with me but she was scared to do anything that could end up hurting our friendship.

Why am I finding this out 30 years later? She didn’t say anything earlier because she thought I knew how she felt. (I didn’t.) Why didn’t I tell her how I felt? 30 years during which not a single day went by without me thinking about her for at least a few seconds. (Don’t tell me ex-wife.)

I’m supposed be having coffee with her over the Xmas holiday. I hope I can control my emotions.

So what’s the point of all this rambling on? Folks, if you have friends that are special to you, be sure to tell them how you feel. Don’t assume that they know. Don’t let stupid issues come between you and them. I’ve lost many special moments in the last 30 years, special moments I can never recover. Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Don’t make the same mistake my friend made. Good friends are hard to find. Hang on to the ones you have. If you could go back in time and change anything would you? I would go back and say one sentence to each of those two friends. Two sentences is all it would take to take away a lifetime of regrets.

Do it now! Tell your friends how you feel and how much they mean to you. Be there for them when they need you. Don’t wait till it’s too late.

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