Do it now!

Today wasn’t my best day emotionally. While driving to work this morning, I started thinking about new friends that I made recently as well as some old friends that I haven’t seen for a while. Two special friends in particular, from my high school days, brought back memories that were not what I needed for a productive day at work.

One these friends caused me some pain when she told me that she thought her boyfriend was going to pop the question real soon. I was living away from our home town at the time and didn’t know she was dating him. I still had romantic interests in her, but never said anything about it to her. I kept hoping that someday everything would just fall into place and …. oh well, you know what I mean. I walked away, broken hearted and had no interest in her anymore. It wasn’t easy because there had been a special bond between us, the kind of bond you find in friends that will always be there for you.

Many years went by before I saw her again. We met a few times for coffee, or for a few drinks, and talked about what we had both gone through. Then I moved away again and years went by without talking again. I did see her again last year at Xmas. I finally told her how sorry I was for not staying in touch with her. I told her it was stupid of me to have felt hurt the way I did. I wasn’t prepared for the pain that hit me when she told me that what had hurt her the most was that I wasn’t there for her when she lost her husband and twin 2 year old daughters in a house fire. All I could say was: “I’m sorry”.

The second friend is one that I had a really big crush on in high school. We were good friends in school, but never got together outside of school. I thought about asking her out but didn’t, partly because I didn’t think she’d be interested and partly because I was shy. We spent many hours together in school; many of those with me tutoring her with Math and Science. I think I saw her just once or twice the year after we graduated. I didn’t think she considered our friendship to be much more than classmates so I did not try to contact her. Thanks to Facebook, I finally got back in touch with her last year, 28 years after our last contact. We had a few long chats where I found out that not only did our friendship mean a lot to her, I was probably the best friend she had in high school. I also found out that she had considered getting romantically involved with me but she was scared to do anything that could end up hurting our friendship.

Why am I finding this out 30 years later? She didn’t say anything earlier because she thought I knew how she felt. (I didn’t.) Why didn’t I tell her how I felt? 30 years during which not a single day went by without me thinking about her for at least a few seconds. (Don’t tell me ex-wife.)

I’m supposed be having coffee with her over the Xmas holiday. I hope I can control my emotions.

So what’s the point of all this rambling on? Folks, if you have friends that are special to you, be sure to tell them how you feel. Don’t assume that they know. Don’t let stupid issues come between you and them. I’ve lost many special moments in the last 30 years, special moments I can never recover. Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Don’t make the same mistake my friend made. Good friends are hard to find. Hang on to the ones you have. If you could go back in time and change anything would you? I would go back and say one sentence to each of those two friends. Two sentences is all it would take to take away a lifetime of regrets.

Do it now! Tell your friends how you feel and how much they mean to you. Be there for them when they need you. Don’t wait till it’s too late.

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  1. Junita Roxx says:

    My problem in life is how much time and energy I put towards school. In high school all I did was work, my lunch hours were spent in the library or the chemistry lab. I went to university right out of high school and now I am in my fourth year. I have yet to stop working and make a few friends… In 30 years I better not still be in school or I am seriously going to flip shit.

  2. Al says:

    You may be busy, but don’t forget to let any special friends you have know how much they mean to you. Do it now, before it’s too late.

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